Desiderata
by Mimi Feye
Summary: Avatar Korra inadvertently enters into a tragic and desperate affair with the very man that promised to destroy her. Together, they use the other's company to momentarily escape the outside world and its problems... Nothing should change – but everything has... Amorra; canon-compliant; rated for sexual content.


***REVISED ON 09.09.2012 : Thanks you sooo much for the lovely response! I srsly love each and everyone of you! Most grammatical errors and plain crap I didn't like have been fixed* **

**A/N: After extensively reading many an Amorra fic, I just got the urge to write one myself. So, I just thought, what the hell?**

**This fic is more of a realistic take on how a person could feel and act in such a situation, and I just used my imagination on how Korra and Amon would feel while trying my best to keep 'em IC…so sorry if they seem a bit OOC, but the show didn't exactly put either of them in this position, now did it?**

**-The story's pretty jumpy, so, be very afraid.**

**-It's semi-canon compliant, I just changed up a few things regarding the episodes to go w/ the story. It follows the episodes as closely as possible, but they're pretty vaguely described; I decided to focus more on their relationship. Hope that isn't a problem. Character's backgrounds, and what not, isn't changed.**

**-It's super long; usually intended to be a one-shot at about 3-5k words, and not as detailed, but it just spiraled out of control while I was writing it. It's numbered and named, so that might make it seem like some mini-chapters and make the job easier for you… What I thought would take about two days, took a whole week. Silly Mimi. **

**-'Desiderata' is taken from the title of my favorite prose by Max Ehrmann, meaning 'desired things'. It has nothing to do w/ the story, maybe only in the epilogue. Read it, though; it's wonderful.**

**-Rated M for a reason, kiddos.**

**Hope you enjoy. See you downstairs in a bit.**

_**Desiderata**_

…

_Why do you go back? What can you _possibly _gain from this?_

'I…don't know…'

…

**Part I: Initio**

After an extensive pro-bending practice, Korra, exhausted beyond words, went on her way after saying goodbye to her teammates.

It has been a week since she was ambushed on Avatar Aang memorial, and every time she thought about it, every time she thought about _him_, it made her body shiver in fear.

'_I'm saving you for last…'_

She shivered again, walking down the darkened, empty streets of Republic City; no one but Tenzin knew of her fear of the man. But not even he knew just _how _much it was eating her up. He didn't know about her nightmares, her constant worry that _he _might be watching her every move.

That if he gets to her, she will lose everything.

She turned her head down an alleyway after she heard some rustling. Korra decided to ignore it and move on.

'Calm down, Korra; stop being so paranoid. You're the Avatar, remember_?'_

She continued her way home, regretting the decision for coming without Naga, but she doesn't want to bother the creature any more than she needs to. She can do this.

Now Korra was sure that she was being followed. She snapped to the source of the sound, getting into a fighting stance.

Nothing.

She lowered her hands, her brows creased. 'I'm going crazy_._'

"Greetings, young Avatar," came a low, husky voice behind her.

'_Amon.' _

She didn't register his presence fast enough before she was hit in her chi points, numbing her body. She fell to her hands and knees with a grunt. She looked up to see Amon standing above her, his eyes plastered to hers, his hands behind his back.

Korra started to panic inwardly, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her scared. He grabbed her by the front of her shirt, and dragged her useless body down a very much darkened alleyway.

He slammed her against a brick wall in the alley, with her head hitting the rough surface, hard. Korra grunted at the pain and was about to scream for help when Amon's hand flew to her mouth, silencing her. His other hand was on her throat, while his hard body pinned hers against the wall. Dread numbed her senses, and she didn't know what to do.

"You and your friends have been pretty reckless with my chi-blockers, haven't you?" Amon said threateningly, more of a statement than a question.

Korra thought back to her and her friends rounding up the chi-blockers as the new 'Team Avatar'. She hadn't expected that Amon would seek retribution. And…alone, for that matter.

Amon leaned in closer, the nose of his mask touching hers, his cool breath on her face which caused her to shudder, as he whispered: "You are best to stay out of my way, unless you want the inevitable to happen." At that, he raised the hand that was at her throat, to her forehead, provoking a gasp and a jerk from Korra. She could swear he was smirking under that stupid mask of his as he placed his palm on her forehead.

He moved his other hand away from her mouth, but his thumb lingered on her lower lip, tracing it oh-so tenderly, which caused Korra to give him a look of bewilderment.

As if he was brought back to earth, he quickly retreated, and jabbed Korra in the shoulder, causing her to collapse to the ground, and he disappeared.

The last thing Korra heard before she passed out was: "Until next time, _Avatar._"

…

After Korra picked herself up and returned to her room at the Air Temple -with no one noticing her extended absence- she sat on her bed, thinking, while absent-mindedly tracing her lower lip with the tips of her fingers.

'_Why_?'

XxXxX

A week after the encounter, Korra was less than willing to infiltrate the underground Equalist headquarters, but she knew that that was her job. She told herself that this time, she would be ready.

_Oh, Korra; you fool._

Lin and the rest of the metalbenders went one way, while Korra headed down the opposite direction, after she convinced Lin that she was fine on her own, even though Korra herself wasn't sure of that. She had told no one of her run-in with the masked man the previous week; she didn't want to burden anyone with worry, or appear weaker than she already did.

She came across a room that looked to be Amon's office. It was pretty spacious, with dark brown walls, a mahogany desk in the center, two doors on either side of the walls and a poster of Amon's face on the middle wall. 'Hmph. Figures.'

While surveying the room, Korra didn't notice the slight movement in the corner of her eye, and before she knew it, the door was locked. Korra couldn't bring herself to turn around; her blood froze in her veins and her eyes were practically bulging out of her skull. 'Attack, Korra!'

Korra quickly spun around sending a fireball in his direction, but he dodged it with ease and, once again, hit Korra in her chi points, which sent her right into his chest.

He spun her around and pressed her back flat against the desk. "Hey! Let me go! You'll regret this!" She squirmed and thrashed as much as she could, but to no avail. Her nerves were set on fire, and she felt a bead of sweat trickle down her temple. She'll admit it; Korra was _terrified_.

Amon pressed himself between her legs, squeezing her wrists rather tightly, as he leaned down, "What did I say about these kinds of intrusions, Avatar?"

She let out the smallest of whimpers, not really sure how to react in this position. He leaned in even closer, the lips of his mask practically brushing against her own. "I'm warning you: stay out of my way." He said in an ominous tone.

Korra's cheeks flushed at the closeness. 'What's happening?'

Amon seemed to freeze and started to pull away; he seemed puzzled, as far as she could tell. A minute later, he was gone, probably through one of the two other doors in the room.

Korra just lay there, with her wrists still in the air, processing what happened. The way he leaned on her, the way he whispered to her, the way he…

Korra suddenly got a warm feeling in her core at the memory; warmth she used to feel for a certain firebender.

'_Snap out of it, Korra! What's wrong with you?'_

That's when Lin burst in with a few other metalbenders.

Korra decided to lie as to what happened to her. They needn't know.

…

Korra couldn't sleep at all that night. She lay awake, her arms behind her head, thinking over everything that has transpired.

Oh, yes; he kept her up at night again; but this time for different reasons.

'_What's happening to me?'_

XxXxX

On the third night of her frenzied dreams and patchy sleep patterns, Korra had finally decided to face him, head-on. 'He's ruining my life and he hasn't even taken my bending yet!'

She flung her feet over the bed, put on her boots and jacket. She snuck out of her room, throwing a glance at Naga, telling herself that she needs to do this alone. She stealthily snuck past the White Lotus guards –_'Pfff, easy'_- and waterbended her way to the city.

'I can do this…I can do this…'

Walking painstakingly slow to her destination, Korra thought over the many scenarios and tried to hush every voice in her head that was telling her to turn back. She felt adrenaline in every part of her body, making her tremble. She was nervous beyond explanation but, somehow, she wasn't scared. Deep in her gut she knew Amon wouldn't pull anything stupid…for some reason. Korra couldn't explain it; she just knew that she _had _to face him.

It had started to snow in Republic City, and Korra felt a pang of homesickness. Most of the people have retreated from the streets to their respective homes, as the snow was starting to stick to the ground.

Korra snuck into the Equalist hideout once again, somehow remembering the path to Amon's office. By some stroke of luck, she hadn't been noticed by anyone; there weren't many of them around though.

As Korra made her way to his office, she again questioned her motives: was she going to attack him? Talk to him? What if he takes her bending?

'No. He said he will save me for last. He will.'

With that, Korra burst into his office, ready to strike, only to be greeted by an empty room. She straightened, and just as she was about to go back and leave this for another day, she decided to at least check those two mystery doors.

'Damn. Both locked.'

Feeling defeated, she decided to go back home, throwing a last glance at the poster on the wall, sighing. She snuck back out into the streets, and since she had all this pent up energy and stress, she decided to burn off some energy at Avatar Aang Memorial Island; it's closer than the Air Temple, and also as to not disturb anyone or be disturbed.

As she set foot beneath her predecessor's statue, she couldn't help but feel a pang of fear course through her body. There was just a stigma to this place, now.

She inhaled sharply through her nose, and began her ascent to the top.

She took an airbending stance and started; one punch, two punches. Nothing. Again. One drill. Next. Nothing.

"Why won't you airbend!" She yelled at no one in particular, exhausted at her lack of results. But she can't leave just yet, because now she's even more agitated and can't fall asleep even if she wished.

Korra continued her air drills, mixing it up with the other three elements. Lost in her workout, Korra didn't realize that she came to the entrance that left her with nightmares before. She just stood in front of it, her mouth slightly agape, her brows furrowed.

Trying to convince herself that he wasn't in there, she reluctantly ventured into the vast darkness, igniting a flame in the palm of her hand. Her body started to shake at the memories from this place, and she found herself questioning why she was even here.

After thoroughly inspecting the area, Korra felt at ease with herself. She turned around to see figure standing at the entrance. It was Amon.

Korra yelped, jumping in place, quickly trying to come up with a way to get out of there. But before she could blink, he was towering over her, his dark gaze piercing her skull. "We meet again, young Avatar."

Korra snarled and backed up, sending a rock in his direction, which he easily dodged.

And they fought; they fought, in the darkness that was mostly illuminated by Korra's firebending, for what felt like hours. Korra kept using her bending on him, while he dodged every strike with ease. He wasn't even _trying _to reach her.

Getting annoyed, Korra advanced with a growl and attempted to punch him in his stupid mask. _'Smart move, Korra.'_

He, of course, grabbed her by the wrist and sent her flying against the wall of the room, pressing his body against hers, reminiscent of their encounter the previous week. His left hand was yet again, at her throat while the other one was on her hip, and his knee was pressed between her legs.

Korra's face flushed furiously. She just glared at him, in the pitch darkness, only able to see his white mask, waiting for him to speak up.

"Why do you insist on provoking me, Avatar?" He asked, pressing himself even closer to her.

Korra summoned the courage to retort, "And what's with you stalking me, huh? What of your promise to 'save me for last?"

He seemed to contemplate his next move for a second, and leaned in closer to her face and said, with his ominous low tone, "Wasn't it you, that came looking for me this evening?"

Korra gulped , 'How? How does he know that?'

Amon paused for a minute before he went on: "Why can't you understand? The era of bending has passed. You should just give up, Avatar."

"No! I'll never give up trying to save innocent people from you! Why can't _you _understand that not all bending is evil?" Korra was getting angry; 'How dare he suggest that…Ugh!'

His grip on her throat tightened; Korra struggled to breathe as he growled, "You're _wrong_, Avatar. I _will _cleanse the world of it, including _you_."

Korra was sure her face turned blue from the lack of oxygen. Amon seemed to notice this and he dropped his hand from her throat.

After Korra recovered, she looked up to see Amon looking right in the eye; as far as she could tell. They just stood like that, looking at each other with both his hands on her hips: 'What is he doing? A minute ago he almost choked me to death!'

But Korra, too, was lost in his eyes, her hands somehow winding up on his forearms. He rubbed circles on her hips and his hands slowly inched up to her waist, his face leaning closer to hers. That heat started up in Korra's core as before, her hands now on his shoulders as she looked at the mouth of his mask with half-lidded eyes, her own lips open just a crack. "What are you doing, Amon?" she asked, barely a whisper.

"I…" He couldn't find the words; Amon was lost in her.

Against all his better judgment, he slid his hood back along with his mask and Korra just stared, trying to make out a face. He pressed his forehead to hers, looking to see her reaction. Korra only breathed in and her eyelids fluttered. She saw his eyes; two beautiful blue eyes looking straight into her soul.

Amon pulled her closer by her waist and leaned down to press his lips to hers. She gasped in surprise, but reciprocated almost immediately. His tongue found his way into her mouth and she gladly returned the gesture.

Their kisses turned more heated and they began to grasp each other's bodies in desperation, both seeking some kind of release. He pressed her up against the wall again and she hooked her legs around his waist. He ground up against her, provoking a moan.

But, as soon as it began, it ended; Amon pulled away, picking up his mask and fastening it in place. Korra couldn't see what he was doing before she felt a jab in her shoulder, knocking her out.

…

Amon stumbled back, trying to comprehend what just happened. 'Did I just…with…?' He looked down at her fallen form, and reluctantly left Korra behind as he went back to his headquarters. He paused to put his -masked- face into his hands, trying to convince himself that this means nothing. He threw one last glance in Korra's direction and, promptly, left.

…

After Korra picked herself up, she ignited a flame in her palm, surveying the area for any signs of Amon. She got up with a weird expression on her face. 'What. Just. Happened.'

She dragged herself home, her presence going unnoticed, as she slid into her bed with her face buried in her pillow, not bothering to change for bed.

Sleep came easy this time, but her dreams were plagued by _him_: by that mask of his; by his eyes, his lips…

'_Why do I feel like this?'_

**Part II: In Inceptum Finis Est **

He wasn't leaving her thoughts; he haunted her; her life became unbearable over the course of the next few days after their previous encounter; she finally admitted to herself that she needed to see him again…settle this thing once and for all.

Once again, she hasn't told a soul of her encounter with the Equalist leader – who could she _possibly_ confide in about such a situation?

Korra didn't even know of her feelings for the man. He's her enemy, for crying out loud! Why this…inner emotional conflict? It should be simple: she shouldn't feel anything other than fear and hate for the man…so why…

"Ugh!" Korra screamed in frustration, flopping herself face-first on her bed. She just came back from an airbending training session with Tenzin which, by her insistence, went into the evening – exercise used to help at first, but lost its effectiveness very quickly. She tried swimming in the cold sea at night to at least help clear her thoughts – it didn't help, partly because maybe a part of her was hoping to run into him?

She felt tears threaten to peak. Her chest felt tight at all the confusion she felt, and it wasn't letting up; if anything, it got even worse over time. She can't tell anyone because no one will understand…has anyone ever been in this kind of messed-up situation?

She decided to take a quick shower, hoping to refresh her thoughts. 'Yes, a nice looong, cold shower.'

Just like with her training, the shower was only a momentary fix. Too bad it can't help her in the long term. She slipped into her room with a towel neatly wrapped around her wet body, her hair still in her traditional hairstyle, not bothering to let her hair down.

She puts on a light-blue, button-down nightshirt that reaches her knees, kicking the habit of sleeping in her day clothes.

Lying down on her bed, Korra looks out the window. It's a blue moon tonight – very rare, and she notices how it casts a hauntingly beautiful blue glow in her room. Korra sighs, feeling very much lonely with the unbearable quiet, and her beloved pet sleeping outside, enjoying the snow covered ground.

For the third night in a row sleep was eluding her, partly because she didn't want to have the same dreams over and over again – didn't want to relive _that night_.

Korra sighs, against all her better judgment she starts thinking about him, and feels a stirring of arousal in her lower region. 'I'm allowed to at least have fantasies… right?' She lost consciousness soon afterward with a smile on her face.

…

Korra jerked out of her short slumber. 'Someone's in my room.' So sure she wasn't alone, Korra jumps from her bed, landing on her feet in a firebending position. Only then does she realize how dark it is in her room; her shutters were drawn – an action she did not remember doing.

Korra starts to panic igniting a flame in her palm, afraid of what, or who, she'll find. No one ahead of her, so she turns around to-

-and is greeted by a white mask hovering over her face. Her scream is muffled by his hand and the flame in her hand goes out, plunging them back into darkness. She can feel her heartbeat in every fiber of her body, her palms start to sweat and her breathing picks up. 'What am I going to do? What am I going to do!?'

"I'd stay quiet, if I were you," Amon inquires, threateningly. He moves his hand from her mouth down to her collarbone, still keeping her in place, "but I suppose it doesn't matter; no one would hear you, since nobody's here."

Korra gulps, trying to hide her fear as best as she can, choosing her next words, "What are you doing here, Amon? Come to knock me out some more?"

"I thought it would benefit us both if we…discussed some issues," he replied, using a soft tone in his voice, which made him sound like he actually cared.

Korra's eyes fluttered, remembering their kiss. Trying to sound as strong and nonchalant as her voice allowed her, she asked, "Oh yeah, what issues?"

"You know what I mean, Avatar," he says, using that tone again.

She starts to snap at him, crossing her arms "No, I don't. So you'll just have to-"

Amon slams her against the wall, eliciting a grunt from Korra. Closing in on her face with his own, he stares deeply into her eyes and continues, "I am here to warn you one last time, Avatar: stay _away_. I am going through with my plans, and you will be cleansed at our final showdown, as long as you _obey me_. If not, I will not hesitate to end you sooner than planned." He pulls away and starts to leave, pulling the shutters away and starts to open the windows when Korra snaps at him.

She watched him leave, and crossing her arms with a scowl adorning her features she replies: "You sure that's the only reason you came tonight, Amon?" 'Shut up, Korra! He was just about to leave!'

Amon stops dead in his tracks and before Korra could blink, he's stomping towards her, making her inadvertently step back. He grabs her throat and his other arm wraps around her middle, pressing her body against his. "Do not underestimate me. I _will_ win." Korra can't force herself to say a word.

He's not choking her like before; he moves his hand to her neck and tightens his hold on her waist. Her hands find their way to his shoulders, one of her thumbs grazing the skin of his neck. Her room is once again bathed in that eerie blue glow as they just stay like that for a while, looking into each others' eyes, both of them waiting for something to happen, and feeling strangely and frighteningly in place – like two puzzle pieces. Korra's getting impatient, though.

Her hands move to the edges of his mask, and Amon flinches at the sudden gesture but doesn't stop her. He pulls her even closer to him. She inches his mask up just enough to reveal his lips, noticing the absence of scar tissue he claimed to have.

He leans down, hesitating for a moment, before he slowly grazes her lips with his, cutting off her train of thought. Her breath hitches in her throat, and her heart rate picks up significantly as she reciprocates more than willingly.

He slips his tongue into her mouth, turning their kiss more feverish as they start to grab onto each other, hands roaming over every part of their bodies. She pulls away just enough so she could take off his mask. Amon quickly grabs her wrists and he stiffens. He hesitantly lets her proceed, closing his eyes to brace himself for what's to come.

Korra sees his hesitation, and stops for a second to think over what she's doing and _who_ she's doing it with: 'This is _Amon_. What am I getting myself into?" He releases her wrists and his body relaxes slightly. Feeling emboldened, Korra eases his hood back, feeling the smooth texture of his dark hair, and slowly takes off his mask, the tips of her fingers slightly grazing his _smooth _face.

Time seemed to stop for a moment; his eyes were closed as his face was revealed to his number one enemy. Korra tries to take in as much as she can; her shock evident in her eyes. "I thought you were scarred," Korra states, feeling a pang of betrayal as though he lied to her, personally.

She had to admit, though; he was _handsome_. She tried to show anger, but she just stared at his beautiful face, taking in every masculine curve and feeling the air leave her lungs in one long, silent exhale.

Amon opens his eyes, choosing his next words carefully, "Let's leave this discussion for another time, Avatar." He's sure that she was about to pull away, tell him to leave, but she doesn't; no, neither of them do. They just stay like that, holding one another, looking into each others' eyes. Surrendering himself, he finally decides to act: he shoves her to the wall and crashes his lips to hers, grabbing her legs and hooking them around his waist, mimicking their last encounter.

Korra's questions and remarks flew right out the window as he kissed her like that, as she too, surrenders herself to him…to _this_. She desperately holds onto his face and hair as if she would fall apart if she pulled away. The little voice in her head is basically shouting at her to stop, part of her body _begging_ to seize this at once, but the other part _aching_-oh, so _aching _to continue. She can feel his need press up against her, only arousing her more.

'Wait – I'm not wearing any underwear.' In that moment, Amon's hand slowly runs atop her thigh, slipping under her nightshirt and -pleasantly surprised at the lack of underwear- dips his fingers along her folds, silencing every voice in Korra's head that was telling her to stop, and in turn eliciting a long moan from her that was muffled by his mouth. He breaks the kiss but not leaving her skin, runs his lips along her jaw, ear, neck and, finally, her collarbone which made Korra shudder with delight and her nails dig into his back.

This is so _wrong_…so very, very wrong, and they both know it. But they couldn't care _less_ in this moment.

He grasps her bottom, shifting her weight onto him and carries her to the bed, laying her down oh-so gently. He pulls away, his body hovering over hers as he looks her in the eyes, as if asking for permission. Korra answers him by leaning up and capturing his lips in another hungry kiss.

Amon then stands on his knees and rips open her nightshirt, making her exposed to the air. He stands like that for a few seconds, taking in her wonderfully muscled body that was accentuated by the blue moonlight.

Korra suddenly found herself nervous and aching to cover herself up. Amon then dropped down taking a nipple in his mouth, while his hand went down south caressing her folds and slipping a finger in, moving along the inner walls. Korra grabbed his other hand and bit his middle finger to suppress a rather loud groan, her need for him reaching its tipping point.

Lost in the throes of pleasure, Korra didn't notice when he took off his clothes. She gazed at his body with half lidded eyes, marveling at his perfectly sculpted and masculine body, his muscles accentuated by the moonlight, making him that much more desirable.

Amon threw one of her legs over his shoulder and, looking her in the eye, drove into her mercilessly. Korra screamed out at the sudden intrusion, blinking back tears as he picked up his pace, her face contorted in pure agony.

Korra held onto the bed sheets for dear life as he drove in and out of her. She's never been with any man like this…she didn't expect it to hurt so much.

But as soon as the pain started, it dissipated and evolved into pure pleasure. Korra's hands were now grasping his neck and lower back, desperately urging him closer and her hips ground against his. He let her leg drop to his side and he grabbed her by her waist, deepening his thrusts. Korra dragged her nails across his back, no doubt drawing blood in their wake. Amon hisses in pain and leans down leave bite marks on her neck, which made Korra moan even more.

Korra could feel herself getting closer to her orgasm, but Amon stopped for some reason. She flashed him a look and he whispered, "Beg, Avatar." He thrust in again, hard, making Korra scream out.

"No." She replied determinedly. Though she didn't think she would win.

Thrust. "Say it."

"No!"

"Do it." Another thrust.

Korra screamed out again, and against her better judgment, retorted, "Please! Amon…" her breath was cut off as she threw her head to the side, squeezing her eyes shut; she hoped that that would do it for him; she felt humiliated enough.

He felt like that would suffice, as he didn't feel the need to punish himself as well. He went on now faster than before, making Korra thrash and moan his name, which pushed him near the edge, but not quite.

Korra climaxed, and she bit into his shoulder, trying to suppress her shout of ecstasy. That did it for Amon; he pushed her away from him -causing Korra's head to hit the bedpost- finishing off on the bed. He collapsed next to her as her convulsing eased up.

They just lay next to each other, panting heavily, not saying a word. Their actions began to dawn on both of them. Korra turned her head toward him, expecting him to say something. He was staring at the ceiling, his eyebrows pinched and his lips pressed in a tight line. 'I just lost my virginity…to _Amon_. Amon of all people!' Strangely, she didn't feel guilty nor did she have any regrets. Weird.

Amon couldn't fully comprehend the situation; he _knew _what he had done, but he just couldn't _believe_ it: 'I slept with the _Avatar_.'

He turned his head to meet her gaze, and they just stared at each other, both of them thinking the same thing: 'That was a mistake.'

Her head was resting on his arm, and he began to absentmindedly stroke her hair that was beyond disheveled from their previous actions. He soon slipped into a deep sleep, Korra following soon after.

XxXxX

Korra woke up the next day, and saw an empty spot next to her where Amon fell asleep. She looked down and saw her body half covered by her nightshirt that was destroyed now. She sat up, noticing the dried blood and seed on her bed between her legs.

Korra cups her face and starts to sob quietly to herself, as the delayed guilt and regret for last night's actions strike right in her being, tenfold.

'_What have I done?'_

**Part III: Alea Iacta Est**

It's been days since Avatar Korra's and Equalist leader Amon's tryst had occurred. Korra hasn't been able to get over it…at all.

She goes to pro-bending practice with her friends, trains with Tenzin everyday, but they don't know; no one knows what she has done. What will Tenzin do if he finds out? What about Mako and Bolin? What is _she_ gonna do? She feels so conflicted and confused and she can't reach out to anyone about it.

Tenzin noticed a change in his student, and he tried to reach out to help Korra with anything she needed, but she kindly declined, insisting she was fine. Tenzin didn't push her any further; she's young, she probably doesn't want to talk about boy trouble with an old man like him.

XxXxX

During one of her sleepless nights, Korra decided to head out and blow off some steam. She grabbed her coat and climbed out her window, softly stepping on the snow covered ground, making a nostalgic crunching sound.

Bolin asked her out earlier to a local pub, but she wasn't in the mood at the time. She hoped that he went anyway and she'd meet him there, at least to take her mind off things for the time being.

Korra decided it would be best to go alone, not knowing how long she'd be out.

She remembered the way to the pub, since she went there once with her team to celebrate one of their victories. It wasn't much, but the drinks were cheaper than any of the other fancy bars in the city.

She waterbended her way to the city with ease, the cold wind whirring past her soothing to her senses. When she got there, she yanked her hood forward to avoid being recognized by too many people, and made her way to the pub which was located not too far from the pro-bending arena, in a more rural part of Republic City.

When Korra finally found the place, she slowly opened the double-doors and entered, surveying the room for a familiar face. The place was dimly lit, and only half full. No Bolin, Mako or Asami present.

Korra dropped her head in disappointment; she was really hoping to talk to any one of her friends. 'Well, I came all this way, might as well have one drink.'

Korra sat at the bar, which only had one other person sitting at it, and yanked her hood forward; she noticed how late it was and a majority the people here were most likely drunk so they would probably not even recognize her…but still, she tried to keep it on the down-low.

The bartender walks up to her and asks,"What're you drinking, miss?"

"Just a glass of red wine, please," she replied. The bartender nods and goes to the guy sitting two chairs away from her.

"Would you like another one, sir?" The aging bartender asks.

"Yes, keep 'em coming." _'That voice.'_

Korra's head snaps to her right to examine the owner of _that_ voice. 'Amon.'

Korra's heart rate skyrockets and she sharply turns her head to the other side, holding up a hand to try and hide her face, which was now flushed, remembering her past actions with this man.

She has a sudden flashback to that night: he was dressing himself in the dark as she groggily turned to look at him. He noticed her staring and, while putting on his mask, says, keeping his voice low, "Let's keep this between us, Avatar." She feels herself nod as he lifts the hood of his tunic over his head and promptly exits through her window.

'What's _Amon_ doing in this place?! I hope he didn't notice me.'

He did.

'Out of all the places in Republic City…' Amon says to himself, peeking at the girl sitting not far from him. He doesn't want to admit it to himself, but he hasn't been the same since his relations with her. He was still going through every plan without hesitation of course, but at the end of every day, she returned to his mind. He felt disgusted with himself for doing what he did with the Avatar herself. He didn't know what came over him those few nights ago. He had felt regret, but Amon isn't sure how he feels now.

Korra sees him take a long swig from his bottle, and he walks over to her. She starts to panic when he grabs her arm and hoists her up whispering in her ear, "We need to discuss some things, Avatar." She doesn't even turn to look at him, and gets up off her seat and finds that her knees are weaker than she thought. She grabs her drink as he pulls her to the booth in the dimly-lit corner, where they would have some privacy.

She sets her drink down on the table and sits across from him, her face in a scowl and her lower lip slightly pursed. He stares at her sternly, leaning slightly on the table.

Korra's the first one to speak up, keeping her voice low, but still trying to sound intimidating: "What do you want now, Amon? Care to talk about bending being evil some more? Or maybe you could explain why you lied to everyone about your past, huh? Or how about-"

"Keep your voice down, Avatar; do not cause a scene here," he replies, and his voice makes her shiver slightly. He sees her relax, but her brows are still pinched and she's still frowning. He continues, "I want us to clear up a few things, regarding the other night."

"Oh, you mean how you took advantage of me?" Korra snapped.

Amon smirks, "I don't recall you complaining much," and he takes a swig from his bottle.

Korra blushes and takes a sip of her wine then sets the glass down. She clears her throat and her gaze drops to her hands that were fumbling nervously. "It was a mistake," she chokes out, hating how small her voice sounds.

"It was a mistake, and shall never happen again," Amon states, but feeling unsure of his words.

"Agreed," Korra replied, her gaze still downcast.

Taking a deep breath, Amon continues, "Nothing will change between us. I am still staying true to my plans," he pauses to stand up, "you should do the same."

As he turns to leave, Korra stands up and says, "Wait."

He turns around sharply; 'What now?'

Korra gulps thinking over what to say; 'Why did I ask him to wait?' "We…I…um…you, you still didn't tell me about your scars."

Amon eyes her, a part of him glad that he got stay and another part that was screaming at him to leave. He sits down and she follows. With his chin lifted, his shoulders squared he started, "Look Avatar; my past and my identity does not matter. What matters is my cause: to end all the pain brought upon the world by benders."

Korra clenched her fists in her lap, "I _will_ stop you, Amon, count on it!"

Amon glared at her, but suddenly felt comfortable in her presence and found himself not wanting her to leave. He needed her. Now.

Not able to hold it in any longer, he scooted next to her and pressed his warm palm to her thigh, inching up to her warm entrance which made Korra shudder. He leaned into her ear and whispered, "Come to my apartment. _Now_."

Korra started feeling the same heat again, unaware for how long she'd been holding it in. She hesitated; didn't they _just _agree that there would be no repeat of the other night.

He answered her question for her when he started running his warm lips from her ear to her cheek to her neck, making her eyes roll to the back of her head. "Yes," she managed to breathe out.

Amon smirked and stood up, offering his hand in a very gentleman-like gesture. She took it and stood up. He paid for their drinks and they went out into the street.

As soon as they got out, Amon took her into his arms and crashed his lips against hers in a frantic kiss. Korra happily reciprocated, grabbing his face and pressing herself up against him. He pulled away and grabbed her hand to drag her to his place.

Neither of them could hold it back as they entered his small, dimly-lit apartment: they both pounced on each other as soon as he closed the door. His lips were at her neck, nipping and biting making Korra weak at the knees, and he lifted her by her bottom as their lips found each other again.

He pressed her up against the wall and put her down so he could take off her clothes. They both took off their jackets and kicked off their boots. He suddenly spun her around and her cheek was pressed against the wall along with her palms, her rump sticking out.

Amon took off his shirt in a flash and proceeded to _rip_ Korra's pants off along with her boxers. He stuck his hand between her legs and started running his fingers along her folds, Korra moaning in pleasure. He found himself getting more aroused by her wetness and constant moans.

He pushed her face roughly against the wall with his other hand, growling in her ear, "You want me, don't you?" Korra could only nod, her face contorted in pain, her lips pulled back as if she would start to cry.

Korra felt him brutally thrust in with a grunt, grabbing her by her hips. She was in pain just like the first time, and it wasn't easing up as he picked up his pace.

"Amon," she sobbed. Amon felt instantly guilty when he saw a tear run down her cheek. He pulled out and spun her around, brushing the tear away with his thumb. He leaned down to give her a soft kiss and she kissed him back, tears still on her cheeks.

He directed them towards the bed, landing on his back pulling her on top of him. She hovered above him on all fours with their lips still locked. Korra then sat on his thighs and pulled off her shirt along with her wrapping.

Unable to contain himself, Amon shot up to envelop her body in his arms and kiss her feverishly. She proceeded to guide him inside her again, slowly. It was slightly uncomfortable at first, but it soon turned into pure bliss as they began to move, holding onto each other as if they would fall off the face of the Earth if they pulled away.

The room was filled with the sound of their moans and groans. Nearing his peak, Amon flipped them over and kissed her lightly before driving inside her again. Korra was in a state of ecstasy, her cheeks flushed, feeling as though her insides were on fire, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, his hands were at hers, keeping her lower back slightly elevated as he drove in and out of her. Korra threw her head back as she climaxed, screaming out his name. He too reached his peak and quickly pulled out of her pressing his forehead to hers as he moaned out.

He kept his forehead on hers, both of them staring at each other with half lidded eyes, desperately trying to catch their breaths. He rolled off of her, pulling her on top of him.

Korra stroked his chest, her mind wandering, not even close to sleep. She looked up and asked innocently, "Amon, what does this mean?"

He looked down; his brows pinched together, and kissed the top of her head.

"Nothing." He replied bluntly.

But they both knew better; they knew this wasn't the end of it; they knew they would continue on seeing each other. Where does it stop, though?

…

Korra jolted from her sleep, panic firing up her senses as she looked at the time: 'Phew, not even sunrise yet.'

She gently untangled herself from Amon's arms, feeling a small twinge of guilt for leaving him like this. She quickly put on her clothes and surveyed his bedroom; even though it was small, it looked pretty cozy. The walls were a nice beige color matching the sheets of his enormous bed, which stood in the center of the room, and there was a nice open fireplace facing said bed, with beautiful paintings hung up on the wall.

Korra turned to leave, not even bothering to fix her hair, and threw one last glance at her…lover?

…

She got to the Air Temple in about twenty minutes, sneaking into her room and crashing on her bed. Strangely, she didn't feel the immense guilt she felt the first time she slept with Amon.

'_What does this mean?'_

**Part IV: Non Sum Qualis Eram**

And saw each other they did. For the past month, Korra and Amon have been continuing on with their torrid affair in utmost secrecy**. **They never plan on it; they tell each other, and themselves, that each time was their last. But they always found themselves in each others arms.

They fight each other in battles, which feels like putting on a show now, and she ends up in his bed every time.

She cries sometimes; never has Korra felt so _lonely_, with no one she could confide in. She has her wonderful friends, Tenzin and Pema to talk to, but how? How can she tell the people she loves that she's having an affair with the city's Public Enemy number one? The very man that promised to destroy her? That almost took Bolin's bending? That threatens innocent people everyday? How would they look at her if they _ever_ found out? Korra dreaded that day, feeling herself slip every time she returns home from his apartment. They knew something was wrong, but they could guess exactly what.

Korra's lost track of who she is ever since Amon entered her life; she blows off her friends _constantly _to go and see him. It hurts to lie to them, but they're better off not knowing. After practice they ask Korra to go out with them for a drink, and she declines with a smile on her face trying to hide the guilt. She hangs her head after they leave, fighting back tears. _'What have I become?'_

The thing that keeps her going is that at the end of each day, she gets to see him. He opens the door to his apartment with that look in his eye, and Korra puts everything behind her, even just for the time being. They lose themselves in the throes of pleasure each time they see each other, and they both completely forget who they are in those moments. And they _revel_ in those few moments, never thinking of their future.

They never speak about _those_ things in his bedroom. They hardly speak at all; even after the glow fades, they just lay like that, listening to each other's heartbeats.

But at the end of the night, after she closes the door of his apartment behind her, they revert to their roles as Avatar and Equalist – then they remember what's important.

XxXxX

The Equalists attack the Pro-bending arena at the night of the Finals, just as the Fire Ferrets lost to the Wolf Bats. Korra doesn't remember much of how it started, due to being electrocuted. She remembers a vision, no doubt sent to her from Aang. She remembers hearing his voice and feeling rage boiling inside her, taking the attack more personally than she should have.

After the three of them are freed from their binds, Korra goes after Amon, not really thinking of what she should do next.

He jumps off his platform and lands on the glass roof, cracking it slightly, and meets her there. Korra blasts fire at him and he dodges it with ease. Their fight then turns hand-to-hand, and he cinches her pretty bad. She kicks him in his side and he grabs her leg, pulling it, making her fall down. He lets go of her and their eyes lock for a brief moment, making Korra's heart ache, and she hesitates. 'Focus Korra, focus!'

Before she could blink, he was gone. Korra looked up to see him going up on the Airship once more. She shakes her head and gets up to help Lin with the other Equalists.

Korra berates herself; she almost lost track of things – she almost slipped. 'Never again.'

…

That night, in spite of the circumstances, she shows up at his door again. She knocks three times like she usually does and he's quick to open it. He's still wearing his mask, hood slid back, shoulders squared.

"I didn't expect you to come tonight." He states, keeping his voice low.

"Yeah, well, that makes two of us," she snaps back, pushing her way inside. He closes the door behind them and turns to face Korra, sensing her anger. She puts her hands on her hips, her face contorted in anger.

"Take that thing off so we can talk normally." She ordered, pointing at his mask.

He makes a face under the mask, but complies. He takes it off and goes to the bedroom, Korra following close behind. He sets down on its usual spot and turns to her, crossing his arms. "Well? Speak."

"What was that? Tonight; what were you thinking? You hurt people! Innocent people!" She accused, involuntarily raising her voice.

Amon glared at her. Breathing in, he retorted, "_Benders_. We might have hurt a few, but a few casualties are to be expected. I will do whatever's necessary to cleanse this city of its filth. You will not persuade me otherwise, Avatar."

Korra flinched slightly, feeling hurt at his tone, and the fact that he still refers to her by her title. She shook her head and continued, "Casualties. Is that what you call them?" she scoffed, pointing a finger in his face "You're doing exactly what you say is wrong with benders! You're abusing your power!" Korra didn't know why she was getting so riled up; she knew she'd never get through to him. So why does she even bother trying to change his mind?

Amon narrowed his eyes, making his voice sound threatening, he said, "It's what's necessary, Avatar. You of all people should understand the importance of going to extremes to achieve peace."

Korra turned around, not wanting to look at him anymore. "Peace." She spat out, her voice low. She walked past him to leave but he grabbed her by the arm.

"Wait."

'Here we go again,' Korra thought, knowing exactly what this was leading to. She didn't stop him. She _never _stops him. But that's because she never wants to.

He embraces her, running his lips on her neck, making Korra moan lightly. He picks her up and carries her to the bed, laying her down uncharacteristically gently, and continues his ministrations.

…

After they both came down from their peaks, they just lay there with their minds wandering. Korra's head was positioned under his chin, her hand on his chest and her hairstyle now disheveled. He was stroking her bare shoulder absentmindedly, listening to her heartbeat.

This was the usual; Korra would come over late, they would sleep together, and then they just lay there, not saying a word, waiting for dawn to peak. But Korra was _dying _to know more about him; she itched to ask him something every time, but was always too scared of his reaction. She's been sleeping with the man for over a month, and she didn't even know his real name, age or origins; she knew that that would compromise his goals, but if she hasn't even said a word about his living quarters, then why would she say anything else?

She swallows, her heart rate increasing rapidly, "Amon, what's your name?" 'Subtle, Korra.'

The question catches him off guard; what is he supposed to say? Amon's real name hasn't been uttered in over two decades; he uses a different one in every place he has gone to without his mask to avoid being linked.

He hesitates, but answers, "What does it matter? I know yours, yet, I don't use it."

Korra's gaze drops, suddenly feeling hurt. "I just thought…you know, never mind." And the room was silent again, save for the crackling coming from the fireplace.

He could sense that she was hurt; against his better judgment, on a selfish impulse, he didn't want to make this another mute night, so he spoke up, "Anything else you wanted to ask?"

Korra smiles, and decides to take the opportunity. She lifts her head and rests it in her hands, looking at his face. "Ummm… where are you from?"

He sits up slightly too look at her and answers with a hint of amusement in his voice, "The Northern Water Tribe."

Korra's eyes widen; "Really? Huh. You do look Water Tribe; I just assumed you were born in the city." And she sits up, pulling the silk sheet over herself, her face close to Amon's.

"My father was from the city; then he moved to the North Pole." He half-smiles at her, amused by her surprise, but deciding to leave it at that. He might even have said too much.

But Amon felt…relieved, for some reason; content, somehow, for sharing that with her.

"I've never seen you smile before," Korra admits, "it's nice." They smile at each other.

They then spent the whole night talking; for the first time, they actually _spoke_. They talked about the Southern and Northern traditions, playfully bickering about whose traditions were better; they talked about their parents, with Amon _carefully_ avoiding going into too much detail…pretty much just mundane things, but both of them enjoyed talking about them, finding a new side to the other. They switched sitting and lying positions constantly during the night, never breaking physical contact.

Korra said that she felt hungry, so Amon got up and threw on his pants, throwing Korra his bath robe, gesturing for her to follow him to his kitchen. He makes them food, a simple and quick Water Tribe dish while talking about the time his mother taught him to make it, and Korra just watches him from her spot on the counter, a grin plastered on her face the whole time.

They eat in his bed, continuing on with their conversation, and Korra exclaiming how good the food is. After they were done with their food, Amon scooped Korra up in his arms and laid her head on his bare chest, his arms involuntarily wrapping around her, his hand stroking her hip.

He looked at the clock; four in the morning…usually the time Korra sneaks out of his room. He reluctantly asks, "Isn't it time for you to leave?"

"Nah, I'm good," she pauses to yawn, "I'll just make something up…" her words wander, indicating that she was drifting off to sleep.

Amon doesn't want to admit it, but he's glad. They fall asleep, warmed by each other's body heat, the flames in the fire place having died out long ago.

…

Korra woke up at about nine in the morning, fixing her hair and putting on her clothes.

She closes the door behind her, but something's no right; she doesn't feel the usual snap in her head, making her revert to her role as the Avatar. That concerns her…a lot.

…

She got to her room on the Air Temple, and curled up into fetal position, feeling the emotional turmoil clog up her senses more than ever. Oh, how perfect that night was – how utterly beautiful it had been.

Those moments will stay with them forever.

At first, she couldn't comprehend that the object of her desire was her enemy himself; now, she's trying to tell herself to not think of him any more than Amon: the enemy. But she's falling for him, she knows it.

Korra then remembers -makes herself remember- his promise: _'I will destroy you.' _She believes him, still. The endgame is nearing, and Korra _knows_ that one will have to end the other. There's no way around it. She doesn't mean enough to him to drop his life's work and ideals for her. Korra, on the other hand, can't stop being who she is: the Avatar.

Korra weeps silently at the harsh reality.

'_What have I become?'_

**Part V: Odi Et Amo **

Korra bangs on the metal wall of the box Tarrlok locked her in; she has no other choice than to meditate, waiting for someone to find her – part of her hoping it would be Amon.

…

When Amon hears that the Avatar was kidnapped, he had to excuse himself for a second; he went into his office and banged a fist on the wall. He needed to find her; as fast as possible. He knew Tarrlok was behind it, and he guessed where she might be, given his knowledge of Tarrlok's hideout in the mountains.

His subordinates wondered amongst themselves why their leader was so bent on finding the Avatar –they had not agreed to take her hostage themselves beforehand- but none of them voiced this aloud to him; everyone was too afraid.

…

"Amon!" Korra hears Tarrlok exclaim, and she gasps in surprise; a weight was lifted off her shoulders, though. She hears a scuffle, and Amon taking his bending away. 'He deserved it…right?'

Amon picks Tarrlok up, telling his followers, "I'll take care of him. You four retrieve the Avatar. Do not underestimate her; electrocute the box to knock her out before you open it." He said that last part louder to make sure she heard him. 'She'll know what to do.'

…

Korra managed to evade the chi-blockers and escape out into the storm; as she bolted out the door, her eyes locked with Amon's for a brief moment. Korra panicked when she saw him advance towards her, and sloppily sent ice shards his way to distract him as she made a run for it, Amon running after her.

Amon stopped when she slid down a slope, having to let her go as he heard his followers drawing closer. 'At least she's safe now.'

…

When Naga brought Korra back to the city, she heard people calling out her name, and then she felt strong arms pick her up off the beast's back. Korra, in her delusional state, thought it was Amon.

"…I'm glad you're here," she remembers herself mumbling.

…

After Korra recovered somewhat, she could think of nothing but seeing him again. Tenzin questioned her about Tarrlok and Amon, and she told them everything that happened - minus the part where Amon let her escape.

Even though it was the middle of the afternoon, Korra excused herself under the pretense of wanting to be alone. Knowing how weird she was lately, no one questioned her.

Korra knew how wrong this was; there was a war brewing and _he _was to blame. But she couldn't help herself; she _pained _to see him.

…

Three knocks and there he was; he couldn't hide his look of surprise when he laid eyes on her, and before she knew it, she was being embraced by him – held up by him, more like. "Thank you," was all she managed to say. He just squeezed her tighter and dragged her weak body inside.

Korra noted to herself -in that moment- how intimate and comforting their affairs have become in the past few weeks; no longer was it just desire and passion, but also something deeper…and that was not good. Not good at all.

In that little space that was his room, their titles didn't matter. Nothing in the outside world mattered in their little world. There, they existed as merely two human beings, seeking comfort in one another: just man and woman with desires and emotions.

They didn't make love that night; they merely shared gentle kisses under a hot stream of water in his shower, holding each other close, trying to forget their inevitable futures.

They sit in the nude, Korra's hair fully down for the first time in front of him, her back to his chest, their bodies surrounded by the crème silk sheets, illuminated by the fire crackling in the fireplace. Amon looks at her back and notices the cuts and bruises, some he was responsible for. He leans down and runs his lips over each one, making Korra close her eyes with a sigh, basking in the soothing gesture.

She cranes her neck to look at him, and is greeted by his piercing blue eyes. They just stay like that for a short while, looking at each other, with him rubbing small circles on her back soothingly. He leans down and gently captures her lips with his; no tongues, no teeth, just lips. They pull away and he wraps his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder and breathing in her intoxicating scent. She leans into him, wrapping her arms around his.

They just stay like that until Korra falls asleep, and he lays her down next to him, and watches her until he eventually joins her.

No matter what happens in the future, this moment shall only belong to them…in their little world.

'_Nothing should change – but everything has.'_

**Part VI: Para Bellum **

Republic City was in an all out war; Council members and Metalbender police officers were captured and stripped of their bending by the Equalists – by _Amon_.

Korra cried because of all that was happening. She knew – she _knew_ that things weren't supposed to be different; she _knew _what had to be done, but her feelings for him were clouding her judgment. She just wished there was an alternative – a way for all this to go away.

But Korra _knew _there can't be a future for them – no happy ending…just… an ending.

That killed her.

XxXxX

Tenzin's family went into hiding and so did Korra and her friends. She heard that Amon had taken Lin's bending, and that broke her heart; she felt somewhat guilty. She snorted when she heard that he declared bending illegal in the city: like he owned the freakin' place.

She wishes that things would go back to being less-than-super-complicated; if there even _was_ such a time.

Korra notices how Mako treats her; she's certain he has feelings for her, and he's not doing a very good job of hiding them. 'Too little, too late, Mako.'

She remembers the kiss they shared. Korra chuckles when she remembers how she felt about him. It all seems so silly and miniscule to her now: how much she was hurt by his rejection; how she was jealous of Asami. Korra wishes she could go back to those teenage-y problems…any of those problems would be better than the problems she was having now. All of her feelings for Mako have all but vanished now.

XxXxX

She does her best in trying to take down the Equalists; to take down Amon. They're doing whatever they can to collect information while they wait for General Iroh to show up so they can strike. But Korra's heart just isn't in it, and they notice that something's not right with her, but her friends just figure that she's nervous.

Korra, deciding that she can't take this anymore, excuses herself one night to go for a walk around the underground city. Mako offers to accompany her, but she kindly says she wants to be alone.

She goes to a very much dark and abandoned part of the sewer, and sits on the ground, snuffing out the flame in her hand. She pulls up her knees to her chest, places her head on them, and starts to weep softly. She really doesn't know what to do; the ache in her chest isn't letting up because she's _dying _to see him again. Crying doesn't help her; it just makes her feel weak and helpless – two traits that she is _so _not used to. Not to mention the guilt that's eating her up for having feelings for the enemy. 'I bet no Avatar before me had to deal with this garbage.'

She stands up to walk around some more, not feeling the urge to sleep just yet. She notices a light coming from one corner, and realizes that that's the sewer opening they came through when they first escaped Amon.

She stands at the head of it, looking at Aang's statue. 'Maybe he can enlighten me.'

Making the brash decision of venturing out there _just this once_, she jumps into the water, propelling herself with waterbending towards her intended destination.

Korra knows how dangerous and reckless this is; if she gets caught by any Equalists, she's done for. But she needed a brief escape – she suddenly _needed_ to be at Avatar Aang Memorial, for some reason. She thought

When she got there, she bended the cold water off herself, and proceeded to climb up to meet the aforementioned statue. She just stared up at him, whispering, "What should I do Aang? Please," she fell on all fours, tears welling up in her eyes, "tell me what to do."

The only time she ever connected with her past life was when she was locked up in that box, so, she thought meditation would help. She got into lotus position and focused. Nothing. She focused a little harder and tried to breathe just like Tenzin taught her. Suddenly Korra had a flashback of her and Amon together. She jerked out of her trance and stood up abruptly. 'Well, that didn't work.'

Finally giving up, Korra walked around on the island, trying to ease her mind. She came across the entrance where Amon ambushed her…twice… and where they shared their first kiss.

Korra flinched, wishing those memories away. She still decided to go inside, thinking that maybe facing her demons might help.

She felt someone behind her as soon as she entered. She spun around, her body ready for an attack.

'Speak of the demon.'

Korra dropped her defenses; she just stood there, waiting for him to do something.

Amon stood at the very entrance, his mask on, feet shoulder-width apart, hands clasped behind his back. He lifted his chin and said, "Nice night to get apprehended, isn't it?"

Korra snorted, crossing her arms and looking away, her lips slightly pursed. "That's why you came? To 'apprehend' me?" She asked, sounding slightly annoyed – hiding the fact how glad she was to see him. She did feel panic prickle in her stomach, though. "Great timing."

"Do you not know how simple it would be for me to capture you right now?" He stated coolly.

Korra gulped, turning her head to look at him. Shaking her head angrily, she challenged him: "Then why not do it? In fact, why not take away my bending _right_ now? I'm right here!" She said the latter by gesturing to her body.

He paused to take a breath. He replied, "Because I didn't plan on ending you like this."

"But you do plan on _ending_ me. So why not now? Why are you even here?" Korra said, her voice cracking at that last part. 'Focus, Korra. Focus!'

Amon took a step closer, "I saw you come here; I do not intend to take away your bending right now. And given our past, I felt as though I should warn you: leave before someone catches you."

"Our past…" Korra scoffed. She turned around; she refused to let him see her so weak. "Stop messing with me Amon; you got what you wanted from me in the _past_. So why do you _insist_ on confusing me some more?"

Another step closer. "That is not my intention."

"So you just came here to warn me? Is that it?"

He was right behind her now; she felt his breath on the back of her neck, and squeezed her eyes shut.

He smoothed a loose strand of hair from her shoulder and leaned into her ear, whispering: "No, that's not it. I wished to see you once more before our inevitable duel."

She craned her neck back, meeting his gaze, their noses almost touching. They never _ever_ spoke about their affair outside his bedroom-or while he was out of costume-, nor did they speak of the Revolution inside of it.

But never _ever _have they even merely _hinted _atthose two things in the same sentence before. Ever.

"Why?" Korra managed to say, her voice sounding weak.

Amon responded by smoothing a thumb across her cheek in a soothing manner. Then he dropped his hand along with his gaze, and turned around to leave; wishing not to get more attached, even though he wanted nothing more than to stay. But Amon guessed that Korra wanted him gone, so-

"Wait."

Amon stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around, a bewildered look on his face. Korra still kept her back to him. She whispered, almost begged: "Stay. Please, Amon."

Amon once again came up behind her and swallowing the lump in his throat, whispered in her ear, "Noatak."

Korra raised an eyebrow; she snapped her head to him, asking, "What?"

"That's the name I was born with," he answered, feeling relieved that someone could finally know the truth.

"Noatak," Korra whispered, making Amon's stomach flutter at the sound of his name coming from her lips. She then turned around fully, stood on her toes and kissed the lips of his mask. Amon put his hands on her hips, squeezing them. She then slid his hood back and undid the straps of his mask, sliding it off, bending down to place it on the floor. He grabbed her face with both hands and crashed his lips to hers. Their tongues dance with each other, their hands sliding on each others bodies.

Amon fell to his knees, pulling Korra with him. They started undoing each other's clothes, their lips not parting. His lips then found the spot on her neck that he knows drives her wild. "Noatak," she whispered again. Korra then lay back on the floor and flinched at how cold it was. Amon, noticing this, put his tunic under her arched back. He then started running his soft lips between her exposed breasts, moving down to her toned abdomen, leaving kisses in the tenderest manner, making Korra moan in pleasure.

He slowly undid her hair, running his fingers through her dark locks, savoring the sensation. He then slid off her pants along with her bindings, making her now exposed to the cold winter air. He slowly pressed his mouth to her entrance, eliciting a loud moan from Korra. His tongue darted out and circled the sensitive spot above her entrance and he stuck a single finger inside of her, Korra now practically screaming with desire. Her fingers tangled in his hair, and she yanked his head up, indicating that she wanted more. Amon happily obliged.

He pulled his own pants off and Korra sat up slightly and pressed her lips to his, tasting herself slightly, which only made her more aroused.

He pushed her back, not moving his lips away from hers, and he positioned himself. He pushed in slowly, stroking Korra's cheek with his thumb as he picked a slow rhythm. Her arms and legs wrapped around his body, one of her hands grasping his bottom to push him closer. He picks up his speed and Korra moves her hips to meet his thrusts.

Korra reaches her peak, her face contorting in ecstasy. Amon always enjoyed watching that beautiful expression on her face, but, of course, never voicing this little fact out loud. He feels himself nearing, and he quickly pulls out of her, wraps his arms around her torso, lifting her up as he himself peaked.

They just held each other like that, for what felt like forever, while their breathing settled down. They soon found themselves on their sides, their foreheads touching and their hands running up and down each other's bodies, savoring every inch. Fatigue caught up with them soon, and they fell asleep.

Amon woke a few hours later. It was still dark out, so he and Korra could still get back to their respective destinations in time. He gently shook her awake, but wishing he could watch her sleep a little longer. She sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes. She saw Amon sitting next to her, and just looked at him. No words needed to be said; everything was already understood.

They got dressed in silence, neither of them wanting to say the wrong thing. They stood, facing each other; Korra nodded and turned around to leave, feeling her heart break.

"Korra."

She stopped; that was the first time _ever _that he had called her that. She spun around and ran into his open arms, wanting to feel his body against hers, one last time. They held each other, Amon gently rocking her from side to side. He himself felt his eyes sting, tears threatening to surface. She pulled away to look up at him, and he leaned down pressing his forehead against hers, their noses touching, closing his eyes.

Korra leans up and places a kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye, Noatak."

"Goodbye, Korra," he replies.

She brushes a hand against his cheek and he returns the gesture, and turns around to leave. Amon looks at his feet, his brows furrowed, not wanting to see her leave.

'_Goodbye…for good.'_

**Part VII: Ius In Bello**

Korra stares at the broken man in front of her, her mouth cracked open and her eyes wide, as the aforementioned man recounts the story of his childhood and of his brother – his brother _Noatak_.

Korra cannot believe her ears; Amon is – 'no, this can't be! Why go to such lengths to end bending when you are bender yourself!'

Korra felt sorry for him though; for Amon and Tarrlok, both. To be raised like that: being told that the Avatar was evil, to be _told_ what your destiny is by a man like Yakone. She wants to slap herself for not seeing the resemblance between those two before.

It made her angry at the great lengths he was going to avenge his father's spirit – the very father he had abandoned as a child. 'Why?'

Korra knows what she must do; they must expose Amon to his followers as the liar that he is. 'Maybe that would –'

_No, he will not change for you; don't forget who he is, Korra._

XxXxX

She did what she came to do; she told the truth about Amon. But that weasel-snake had foreseen this, so he faked the scar. 'Always two steps ahead.'

When she saw the Airbender family tied up, rage boiled inside her veins like never before. 'That-that monster!' she did the logical thing: she attacked.

…

Korra cried out as she was lifted into the air, remembering being bloodbent by Tarrlok. He knocked Mako to the ground, efficiently knocking him out. She, too, was sent to the ground and he approached her.

"Korra," he said her name softly.

"Don't you dare use that name again, you monster!" Korra snarled, blind rage clouding her vision.

Amon dropped his head, but didn't release the hold on her.

Korra tried to struggle, but in vain. She barked back, "Children, Amon! You tied up children!"

"I did what I had to do Avatar; and so did you." He stated, using that threatening tone of his, the one he hasn't used on her in a while.

"I protect people!"

His back was now turned to her, "I also protect people. By insuring that future generations won't have to deal with the tyranny of benders!"

"You're a bender!"

"That shouldn't matter; I only use bending to equalize – I do not abuse it for selfish and sadistic reasons like benders do." He now turned to look at her, still not easing up on the hold.

"Not all bending is evil! Why can't you understand…" Korra dropped her head and let the tears fall freely; she knew she couldn't win, couldn't get through to him, so why bother?

Amon dropped his guard, along with his hold, and approached her. "Korra," he whispered softly.

She blasted fire from her fist, and he gripped her again. "Forgive me," she heard him say before blackness overtook her.

"Noa…"

…

Korra stirred, feeling weak, and realized that she was being carried by someone. She looked up to see Mako and it dawned on her: 'He took my bending.'

She panicked and said weakly, "Mako, my bending…"

"Everything's gonna be alright! We just need to get you out of here!" Mako replied, panicked himself. She flew out of his arms and onto the ground as Amon gripped Mako with bloodbending.

"I'm impressed; no one has ever gotten the better of me like that," he paused to position Mako on his knees, "it's almost a shame to take the bending of someone so talented. Almost."

Korra saw Amon position himself, and time seemed to slow down. 'No, he's hurt enough people that I love; he will _not_ do this!'

"No!" Korra exclaimed and instinctually blasted air in his direction. Amon was pushed off to the very end of the hall, and Mako was against the wall, staring at Korra in surprise. Korra looked at her hands in bewilderment. 'How- I-'

"I-I can airbend?" Korra muttered, and then straightened, her face serious, "I can airbend!"

…

She looked him straight in the eye as he was now fully exposed to his followers as the liar that he was. Her face was a mix between hurt and anger. 'Traitor… liar…I can't believe I let myself trust you for a second.'

Amon looked back at her, his features softening when he saw the hate in her eyes. She was lost to him, now. He propelled himself into the water, bolting to the one person that he had left in the world.

XxXxX

Korra was reunited with everyone at Air Temple Island, glad that everyone was okay, but she still felt empty due to her loss of bending…and Amon. Everyone offered their condolences, assured her that she saved the city, but, it didn't matter; it didn't help: Amon got away, and she lost her bending…she failed as the Avatar.

XxXxX

When she was left alone with her thoughts, on the cliff she usually seeks privacy on, Korra realized she never actually _tried _to bend after Amon allegedly took her bending.

She stood in an earthbending position and-

Korra stumbled back in shock; "He didn't take my bending; he only blocked my chi!" Korra muttered to herself, looking at her hands.

'Maybe…maybe there's still hope.' Korra thought to herself, suddenly wanting to find him more than anything. She jumped into the water, bending it, propelling herself towards the city.

'_I'll see you soon."_

XxXxX

Amon was in a boat with his long lost brother. Amon felt his chest tighten with grief for leaving Republic City, never to return. It was for the best, really.

In those few moments, only one thing was on his mind: _Korra_.

He remembered every touch, every sensation, every word that ever escaped her lips… he recalled every_thing_ about her. His biggest regret was not telling her in time how he really felt; how much she actually meant to him.

It _was_ for the best, really. He let Korra believe that he took her bending so she wouldn't come looking for him; he had to make her hate him so it would hurt less. It pained him deeply for having to leave her behind, wishing nothing more than to stay with her until the end of days. But he knew that there could be no future for them, no happy end. So, it was for the best.

"It will be just like the good old days," he heard Tarrlok say.

He shed a single tear, willing for Tarrlok's words to be true.

'_I will see you again someday, Korra…'_

**Part VIII: Memento Mori**

It was official: Equalist leader Amon…was dead.

Korra screamed the first time she heard, making everyone in the room look at her in confusion. She started crying hysterically as soon as she found some privacy, but everyone still heard her.

Korra had considered the possibility of Amon dying in the past, but never had she imagined just how much it would _hurt_.

Over the course of the next few months, Korra became withdrawn and depressed; she became nothing more than an empty shell, a broken person. She refused to leave her room for weeks at a time, having frequent aggressive and crying fits.

One day, Korra broke down and confessed everything to the only person she allowed into her room - Tenzin; he was shocked and enraged, but he supported and comforted her through another one of her episodes. Eventually, she let Asami enter, and told her everything as well; she only held her and patted her back, as a good friend should. This made Korra feel relieved a little; she didn't have to be the only person in the world to know that secret anymore. But that didn't change the facts.

The extraordinary pain wasn't going easy on Korra; after months of being so emotionally numb she had to be bedridden, Korra looked at herself in the mirror for the first time, cringing as the person once known as Avatar looked back at her: this wasn't the Avatar; this wasn't Korra.

She wished nothing more than to be in _their _little world, just one more time, just to make the pain stop for _just_ a little while…like she used to.

XxXxX

On a particularly desperate night, Korra –making an uncharacteristically masochistic decision- went to _his_ old apartment.

She stood at the door she used to knock on _so_ many times before, staring at it blankly and letting the memories flood her mind. She knocks on the door three times; no answer. She knocks three more times…three knocks…three more…three…

She continued her oscillatory knocking, slowly falling down to her knees, her face pressed up against he door, finally breaking down in a hysteric sobbing fit as she realized that he will never again open that door for her. Ever.

XxXxX

Not being able to stand Korra being so numb anymore, everyone decided to take her home to her parents.

When they arrived, she received a warm welcome from everyone, but she barely forced a smile. She resumed her position on the bed as before. The tundra only reminded her of him - of what he told her about his childhood.

XxXxX

Once, while finally emerging from her room, Mako followed her out and confessed his feelings for her. Oh, what Korra wouldn't give to feel the same way; what she wouldn't _give_ to make all this disappear; to make it so it never happened.

Korra takes his hands off her face, "I-I can't." She then jumped on Naga's back, ignoring Mako's calls.

She comes to a cliff and looks down; oh, how tempting it is to just…make it all end…in the blink of an eye.

Korra felt for a long time now, as though she failed as an Avatar; what good is she to the world if she can't even say one sentence without bursting out crying; what good is she if she never leaves her room; what good is she if she just simply doesn't _care_ anymore…So, if she just ends her life, she'll give the world a new Avatar – a better Avatar.

She looks down again and…'No, I can't do this; that would be too selfish.' She sits back, curling into a ball, letting the tears come once again.

'_When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.' _

**Epilogue: Requiem**

The sun was setting in Republic City, colouring the sky a crimson red color, casting a red glow over the water. Korra watched the sun set through her window, her face cupped by her hands, trying to keep a cool head. She always struggled with herself every year on this particular day: Amon's birthday.

Every year for the past three years, Korra traveled to Air Temple Island in Republic City and ventured out to Avatar Aang Memorial, in commemoration to her late lover's birthday. Every one of her friends was told of her relationship with the man; they at first were furious, stunned, hurt…but they accepted it over time. She kindly asked them to not mention it again, not wanting to re-open freshly-healed wounds.

Wounds leave scars, though, and Korra had _plenty_ of scars. Each year, on the date when she found out that Amon was dead, Korra locks herself in her room, remembering how awful it was to live with that pain. But, she recovered enough to perform her duties: first was to restore bending to those who lost it and then, keep the world in balance.

After she first connected with her past lives, with her spiritual self, Korra's life got loads better and she was becoming quite the Avatar. She no longer felt like a failure.

Korra inhaled sharply through her nose, unable to keep putting this off any longer. She stood, grabbed her satchel and went on her way.

When she got there, she went to the usual spot by the water and sat down. She pulled out a parchment with his name and birth date inscribed on it, two incense sticks and Amon's mask.

She held the mask gently in her hands, inspecting all the cracks, as she recounted how his mask wound up in her possession: Asami said that she bought it off some pirates that had fished it out of the water, thinking that Korra might like it. Korra hugged her tighter than ever before, grateful that she could have just a little piece of him.

Korra sets everything down and lights the sticks with spark rocks. "Happy Birthday," she mutters, the smile that was previously on her face fading. Korra's eyes water and she lets out a sob, and her fingers curl up in her lap. She starts to hum softly, tears now quietly streaming down her face. _'It's always a struggle…'_

…

_Why do you go back?_

'Because I loved him…'

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**X**

**LONGEST. ONE-SHOT. EVARRR. **

**Wow, was that an experience! I really, really hope you enjoyed it; I put a lot of time and energy into this. I sincerely apologize for ANY mistakes made; English is my 3rd language, as in, I was raised bilingual and learned English on the side by watching TV and playing video games, so my skill can't be perfect.**

**I'm also sorry that I didn't write much about other characters; my main focus was on Amon and Korra's dysfunctional relationship and the end of it. Also, sorry if I went into too much detail or not enough…but, I can't be my own judge, so…**

**I wish to dedicate this story to all the amazing Amorra writers here on FFN, and to thank them for inspiring me to write this. You're awesome!**

**The best song to put to this would be 'My Immortal' by Evanescence and 'Let it Be' by Blackmill…really captures the emotion. **

**I listened to mostly chillstep mixes and dubstep w/ female vocals – it's best for when you're writing, trust me. **

**Thank you to everyone who read my shit! Reviews would be nice :)**

**W/ Love,**

**Mimi**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN 'THE LEGEND OF KORRA'. IT BELONGS TO BRYKE, YOU GUYS. IF I DID OWN IT, I WOULD'VE SOLD IT TO THE JAPANESE SO THEY WOULD'VE MADE IT GORY, SEXUALIZED AND THE BATTLE SCENES AT LEAST 5 EPS LONG…or something…lol.**

…**but srsly, that would've been awesome… **


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